Rambling Roads

Is That So?
by Jeff Beilfuss
November 2010

 

As 2010 recedes into the annals of history, I’d like to take a look back at some of the clips from various sources regarding our sport.  Don’t take it seriously, which is my philosophy.  Some of these come from advertisements, some from stories or quotes. 

“The Sky Has No Limits.  Because to be the best, you have to ride the best.”  OK, but my wallet definitely has a limit, and no matter what I ride I’ll never be the best.

 “You never stop improving.”  Good news!  But do I need the carb-loaded, vitamin-enhanced, and caffeine-juiced, energized jelly beans to do it?

 “It’s All In The Gain (elevation that is.)”  Is that what Lance meant when he said it’s not about the bike?

 “It’s all about the Ride.”  I thought it was about the gain.

 “Is the woman on the cover of the Jan./Feb. issue an actual cyclist?”  Reply from woman on cover: “…an avid road cyclist.  I logged 2000 miles in 2009.”  Define avid please. 

 “You turn and look behind you…”  In this advertisement no one is behind the rider.  I’m thinking I made a wrong turn or I’m riding with the fast boys!

 “…your entire being is suffused with purpose and desire.”  The process of buying a bike compared to the longing for that special someone back in your younger days.  OK, this has some merit.

 “When Prestige Is As Important As Speed And Comfort.”  Let me think about this one.

 “How about this for a trend:  bikes that are d**n fun to ride.”  And all along I thought is was about prestige and if I looked good.”  What was I thinking?

 “Color Me Fast.”  I think I’ll stick with the previous paragraph.

 “Welcome to Arkansas.”  But I haven’t seen everything here yet.

 “Light And Fast—But Enjoyable, Too.”  Well, riding is more enjoyable since I lost all that weight.  Faster?  I still can’t keep up with the greyhounds.

 “Gear.  Emergency Chocolate.”  Sigh…

 “Flash Your Cash (bike and stuff.)”  What cash?

 “Sit Up, Slow Down, See The World.”  Sometimes it just happens as you get older.  Less pain, too.

 “Everything You Need To Stay In Front.”  Unrelated to seeing the world.

 “Don’t Fear The Hill.”  This one speaks for itself.  The advertisement would have you buy a new bike, but you still have the same body.

 “Distracted Drivers.  Loose Gravel.  Dogs.  Potholes.”  Pay attention out there folks.  No, this was not about Clark County.

 “Bicycling Rewards VISA Card.”  I guess you need that when: “The Sky Has No Limits.  Because to be the best, you have to ride the best.” 

 “Explore.  Experience.  Enjoy.”  Who can argue with that?

 “But any cyclist will tell you that 90% of winds are headwinds.”  Why is that, especially on long-distance cycle touring?

 “Stuff You Can Use.”  There always seems to be stuff I can use.  Refer back to the VISA paragraph.

 “Tour in Comfort.”  Why does ‘comfort’ always enter the picture?  Is there something we don’t want to admit?

 “Bicycling Tours For Seniors 50+.”  Fifty is a senior?

 “Start Dreaming About Next Year’s Adventure.”  I like this one because dreaming doesn’t require a VISA card.

If your dream includes England, think about this: Some English streets have lampposts padded to prevent injuries to people who walk into them while composing text messages on their cell phones.  Are airbags and seatbelts for bicycles next?  You can’t be too careful out there.  Ride safely. 

Ramble on.